“They taught me to embrace the cards you are dealt, or it will eat you alive. If you go to the heart of your own matter, you will find only by loving and helping do you have peace from your own trauma.”
This journalist/author certainly did his homework. The interviews with the Galvin family and the many related people who discussed the six schizophrenics in one family of twelve children led to a book that reads like a novel yet chronicles poignant concepts, issues, and themes related to mental health and mental illness. He compels the reader to empathize with the parents, each sibling, and the victims of this misunderstood condition.
Kolker gives detailed descriptions of the medical community’s hypotheses about schizophrenia and the effects that various doctors and researchers had on the members of this unusual family. He also delves into the role of pharmaceutical companies, institutions, and group homes. Additionally, he discusses the Catholic Church and the military as the Galvin family members navigate their lives and societal positions.
Six of the twelve children are NOT diagnosed with schizophrenia or any other mental health issue. A significant portion of the book focuses on the two youngest children in the family, girls who are not victimized by schizophrenia directly. Still, indirectly they may be the most severe victims. Through their therapy and self-analysis, Kolker shares spellbinding views and conflicts, many of which are internal and universal to the human spirit.
Although the book’s focus is mental health and mental illness, the descriptions of the family and its function/dysfunction are probably relatable to many families. Family secrets are continually discovered, and the youngest family members are frequently stunned to have been shielded from some events during their formative years. The “blame game” in families is also a prominent theme. The mother blames her husband’s genetics for the predisposition to mental illness, yet researchers are often blaming a style of mothering to be responsible for schizophrenia. Understanding the dynamics of one’s upbringing and how they affect adulthood is a lifelong challenge for many people, not just those plagued by mental illness.
Some quotes with universal appeal
Unrealistic, yet understandable—children usually have no way of processing trauma beyond their own experience, and so, all too often, they blame themselves.
She would acknowledge what her daughter was saying and then urge her to move on—to forgive—always reminding her that there was someone else out there who had it worse. It was superb maternal jujitsu: paying lip service to relate to her daughter’s experience when in fact, she was obliterating it, draining it of all meaning, blotting it out.
Our culture looks at diseases as problems to solve.
“Like riding the merry-go-round, one chooses his horse. One can make believe his horse leads the rest. Then when a particular ride is finished, one must step off only to observe that the horse has really gone nowhere. Yet, it has been a thrilling experience. There may even be the yen to go again.”
